- I’m an oldie.
Edit: 34. The site doesn’t like having numbers alone with a period.
Thanks for the wishes. 
Random Talk | Say whatever's on your mind
John
#536
Preferably you learn what you can by your own with trustworthy online resources until you find yourself capable of visiting a therapist. There are a lot of good resource online about anxiety management, and dare i say communities to discuss the matter with.
Finding a good therapist that can actually help you is of sever importance, and imo the most important variable in the matter.
MidnightTrain
#537
Dude I dont want to talk about it, though. Just want drugs to make it go away.
'murica
but really…
John
#538
Can you live with it? Do you find yourself wishing to be on the wrong side of the gun more often than not? The balancing comes from how problematic your anxiety is, against how problematic it is to manage it. Managing is often not a self defeating procedure, but a long term commitment (i have a father and an aunt which are still taking zoloft well into their 60’s, not that i have more than one father mind you!), but the effort they put into dealing with drugs and therapists is significantly smaller than that which they would have to live through in order to live a normal life without the medication. Therapy isn’t really about easing your life now, it’s about building a future you couldn’t have otherwise (from small things to big things), insurance for better times. No one deserves to live a life so dense with inner struggle.
Sibylus
#540
It only gets worse with avoidance. You go, even if you feel like you’re on the verge of tears all day.
MidnightTrain
#541
I’m definitely not suicidal or anything like that, I might feel depressed sometimes but I’m not medically depressed. I never considered myself an anxious person growing up, but once it was pointed out to me after college and I looked back on it idk how I never saw it. Although it’s definitely gotten worse with age, and I think continuous marijuana use has not helped.
I feel like my anxiety honestly isn’t that terrible, as far as anxiety goes. And it’s intermittent. But It’s also slowly killing the relationships with everyone I care about. And it’s because I care that the anxiety kicks in. I just want the meds because I feel like it’s a chemical balance issue in my head, rather than a mental/compulsion-driven anxiety. I don’t stress about stuff and then that makes me anxious, my body just reacts to situations around me, and the resulting physical symptoms set my mind to stressing. But once it gets triggered I have no way of calming it down.
I do feel though that if I just had a way to calm my heart and my head down once they start racing, or if I had to way to just sort through my thoughts it would be easy to deal with. But right now once it gets triggered I’m just stuck like that until it wears off. But while it’s triggered, everything else in my life becomes a higher level of stress than it should be and then I get stuck in a stress loop of shit that shouldn’t be freaking me out. Going to bed with anxiety on your back and then still waking up with it has got to be one of the worst things ever. A good night’s sleep is the best cure I’ve found so far.
But then if I get stuck long enough I just kind of stagnate in my melancholy, my emotions more or less shut down, and nothing is fun or appealing anymore. That’s about where I’m at now.
looks outside
The seasonal depression certainly doesn’t help, either.
But this is about the best I’ve ever explained my head, so that feels good. Can I see an online therapist? That would be perfect.